pro & con

pas orang2 nanya (dan udah buaannyaaakkk banget yg nanya, or at least suspected so), kenapa kita jaga adelle sendiri dan ga pake babysitter... gue sbenernya punya a zillion of reasons tapi yang keluar dari mulut hanya ".. mmm... gpp sih, pengen aja jaga sendiri..lagian ga percaya deh ama orang lain.." yaaa something like that lah jawaban gue. dan biasanya si penanya suka mengeluarkan pendapatnya of why i should have used one sitter..

emang sih, kalo adelle udah jago jalan, jago ngebrantakin, kayaknya perlu deh another pair of eyes behind my head. yang penting juga, adelle udah bisa ngomong (jadi kalo diapa2in dia bs ngasih tau kita). tapi, pikir punya pikir, apa gue yakin nih......

ok, jujur nih... gue *ternyata* termasuk agak2 perfeksionis, atau mungkin strict lah, dalam urusan anak. dan berdasarkan pengalaman berurusan ama staff di cafe, gimana coba gue bisa berubah haluan dan percaya orang luar nge-handle keseharian anak gue?! (these things come across my head everytime... dirty hands, smelly body, blowing air, cooling food by blowing air into it, kisses...).

ok, so that was one reason. another reason is... jujur aja cerita2 mengenai scary and mean baby sitters itu sangat amat memiris hati dan *tok tok tok* amit2, jgn sampe kejadian deh! *iye, gue parno-an orgnya kalo udah begini*

memang pro-nya jg ada, dan terkadang kalo badan udah terasa rontok, ngantuk, ga bisa kemana2, that thought tempts me. BUT, one very sweet smile adelle gives me can make all that go away in an instant.
Especially lately, with her stranger anxiety, everytime she's held by others and saw me come into the room, she'd give out the hugest smile with glittery eyes towards me, would start to whimper if I didn't show any signs that I was coming to get her (and those whimpers stopped immediately as soon as i reached my hands out to her), THAT is heaven.

I shyly admit, when those moments happen, I am the proudest mum in the whole wide world.

Hence, the same question arises, how could I use a babysitter then?! Can't live if those moments never happen to me, and would happen to the sitter instead!!!


*no puns intended, please no one get offended, these are purely my thoughts*